Entries by childhealthsp

Time for School

Time for school -“….and you see Marcia, that is why it is important to always tell the truth to Dad and Mum…” Cue Brady Bunch end of show music. Everyone sigh.The Brady Bunch, a nauseous show replayed ad nauseam still seems relevant today. Home spun philosophy, with a comedy twist depicting a blended family, dealing […]

Summer Holidays

Summer holidays parenting used to be simple. We were kicked out after breakfast and don’t show your face till sunset. Fine by us. Spent the days with mates who had similar lockout parenting policies. We taped up one side of a tennis ball and came in swinging Michael Holding style. Cricket held sway. However for […]

Ah Spring… Full of allergies

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I sneezed, I snored, I blew, My love found someone new! The sneeze, like someone’s laugh, can be quite individual. The little cardigan clad old lady, so gentle she can hold her cup of tea whilst sneezing, compared with the explosiveness of say a construction worker, whose sneeze will […]

Popeye you fraud!

Popeye and his girlfriend olive resulted in a 30% increase in the sales of canned spinach during the late 1930s. This association between spinach, its iron content and superhuman deeds caused me deep psychological scarring in what was an otherwise unremarkable childhood. For hours I would sit at the dinner table moving my spinach from […]

Northern NSW Emergency Room, 1990s

Just audible, over the single ominous note of the cardiac monitor, Willie Nelson, crooned Elvis’ You Were Always On My Mind. Sort of song you expect at 4am. The radio in the corner had no respect. Hopeless seconds pass. We had failed. “Are the parents outside?”. A nod from someone. The physician took off stained gloves, turned […]

Last drinks for the Swans

Childhealth gets teased a bit. And so it happened on Saturday at the MCG. Not because the Swans played as if they had consumed sports drinks laced with alcohol, nope, it was because I brought my footy boots. I mean, there was a chance. If the alcohol had been more concentrated then half the squad […]

Role Modelling

At the age of 9 years, life should be wondrous moments of understanding and realisations. Friendships, family, shopping, ice cream and excitement. Searching for innocence, a 9yo was admitted to hospital this week who was so scared of a family member she had not opened her bowels for several weeks. It is staggering that in […]

Manpox trumps Manful

Childhealth recently diagnosed manpox. The partner of one of the marketing strategists – (hang on, not even 100 Facebook likes yet ! what’s she doing ?) – has come down with chickenpox. Over the last week he has been ostracised, left to fend for himself, foraging for food, Castaway style. He is alone. His family […]

Triage Nurses – Speed dating and acronym specialists!

As far as first impressions go, the triage nurse in a children’s emergency department has to be really good. But here we’re talking medical. These highly trained nurses in a busy emergency department have to quickly assess every child that comes through the door.  They note parent’s outfits, languages, sizes, shapes, the cultural differences -some […]

Guilty Parent Marketing – Save your money

Ironically, following the latest television report on the Essendon supplements saga was an advertisement for vitamins. Watching this it struck me that the marketing technique makes the consumer feel guilty for not buying the product. Am I an inadequate parent because my family is not taking product X ? (For X  Insert vitamins, protein supplements, […]